Do you sometimes feel like it's really hard to connect with Jesus?

"I am not a stranger", Jesus.

I was having a prayer time a few days ago and was thinking about what I read in my book, She is Free by Andi Andrew, she said, " There is no substitute for the presence of God."

(Click book to get your copy)

To be honest, I've tried to substitute the presence of God with shows, food and more shows. To me, at times, it's seems more fun and comforting when I'm either eating or watching a show. Praying is like the last thing I want to do after a long day with my kids. Praying is not something I look forward to doing after putting my kids go to bed. Most days, I look forward to being in my pajamas watching a show, and eating chips by myself or with my husband.

Praying doesn't sound as attractive because most times I don't "feel" anything unlike crunchy chips or a romantic movie or show.

A few nights ago, I was wrestling praying to God. I did my usual request for, "Please protect my family, give me strength, wisdom, and give me patience" routine. I was REALLY having a hard time connecting with Him. I was soaking in doubt and questions about who God is and if he can really hear me when all of a sudden I hear him say gently, "Suel, I am not a stranger to you." I was shocked.

All of a sudden, I could almost imagine His face. All of a sudden I was taken back to all the fun and great memories I had with Him and how REAL all of those times were. He is not just an imagination or a wishful thinking. He is my Jesus. He is real. He can feel. He can hear me. He is not far away as I thought He was. I know Him and He knows me. He is not a stranger.

I wept, and apologized for talking to Him as if I've never met Him before. Have I forgotten? He is my Lord. My BEST FRIEND. If anyone knows me it is Him. He knows me more than anyone else. How can my prayer life be so dull when all it really is, is talking to my savior and best friend. How can I refuse to tell Him how I really feel? How can I hide my questions and problems from Him as if He doesn't already know. How can I not ask Him to reveal His heart to me?

He is so good. Despite my doubts and fear, He leads me to himself. My prayer times had been different since then. I look forward to it more know than before. Don't get me wrong, the battle between watching a show or praying instead is still ongoing. But, when I do pray, He is present, even when I don't feel or hear anything. I know it's real..... because He is not a stranger. And, He is not a stranger to you.

"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

(John 15:15)